I live my life in a constant state of faith, and unemployment.

I think I have the most unstable profession.

I am (unfortunately) not a series regular on a tv show...yet. At the end of every day that I work I am once again unemployed. I do everything that I can to remain working - obviously- but there are days like Monday of this week that it just didn't happen. I sat on my couch at home in the dark for hours Monday morning into the early afternoon. Waiting for yoga and staring at the bag of unfolded laundry I brought back from the laundromat.  In fact, I worked on this website - it went live on monday. I submitted for some principal jobs. Made plans to go out, sort of. And talked to my friend about how we wish we were dating people who "had their sh*t together"

And that's not me. I'm 28 years old now. (I'm probably not supposed to talk about that here) I have an apartment, and a dog, and I pay almost all of my bills on time. But I don't have a stable job. I've never had a stable job. I go from contract to contract. Sometimes they last several months, and sometimes they only last a day. And sometimes I go to auditions in the hopes that I will book another day of work. That's it sometimes. Just one day. And if I break it down and lay it all out - HOLY SHIT! - my life would be depressing. And chaotic. And I would NEVER want a partner whose job was as uncertain as mine is on paper. 

The thing is I'm making it work. Somehow month after month I continue to make it work. 

I can't pretend that I haven't thought about going "legit" and finding a nice, cushy, stable job in an office. One where I report 9-5 and have a salary and a pension, and vacation days.

Because I am really truly sick of hearing the word no. 

Talk to any successful person in this industry and they'll tell you that they got 100 – or 1,000 – NOs before they had their first yes. It takes a special kind of determination to continue in a profession where the days of unemployment, and the NOs exponentially outnumber the times that someone actually says YES! It takes an astounding amount of faith and grit to continually hang on, and persevere when all you hear is just, no.